Going Home

Well after 5 months of BYUI, I am finally going home. No, it is not the end of the semester and no I did not flunk out, I am just ready to be home and be happy. BYUI was a good/trying place for me and it was a growing experience but I am no longer needed here, the things BYUI has to offer are no longer things that I need. I have met so many wonderful people here and I have learned so much but really there is no place I would rather be right now than home with my family. I want to spend these last couple of months with them before I am off to start my life with Michael. I do, in a sense, feel like a failure. I wanted to be stronger than I am, I wanted to prove that anything is possible if you just stick it out but it proved too much for me. I will not, however, go home and mope. I will have a loving family beside me and friends that can't wait to see me. People may talk or be disappointed in me but only the Lord can see the whole picture and He knows as well as I do that it is time to wipe away the tears and go home to my family, to a place where I can be strong when Michael is not around. I will still be going to school next year after I'm married but it will be in Colorado, another place where I will be surrounded by a warm and loving family. I have prayed about it, I know what it is I am to do and I can only go from there. I thank the Lord for the opportunity I have had to come here and for the people he has put into my life and for the patience He has had with me. I just want people to remember that I'm not perfect, there are some struggles that I am not strong enough to overcome alone. I am just one girl, I have the Lord and those who love me that He has put into my path. I cannot be with my one and only at this time so I am going to a place I can feel just as much love. I am going home. I am so thankful for my parents unconditional love and that no matter how much of a disappointment I can be sometimes they still love me. It is incredible that their love is never-ending and that I get them for eternity. I am so thankful for Michael's family for offering support for the beginning of our marriage and for giving both of us love and continuing support. I have learned so much from this experience and I am excited to move forward with my life.