Unhappy Thoughts and Spiritual Views

About a week ago Michael and I were coming home from our good friends house at about 10:30 pm. While waiting to turn left at a red light, I noticed a small group of teens waiting to cross the street, and after a second of noticing them I went back to talking with Michael and didn't give them another thought. Until I saw them running across against a green light. I heard the car screech first and then I saw a truck slam into one of the teenagers, a young girl, and send her rolling and bouncing across the pavement into the intersection. I was screaming before I even knew what happened. Michael however was in calm and collected mode. He threw the car into park and ran straight to the girl and got to work. He got people on the phone to 911, got someone to perform CPR and even performed it himself until the girl was breathing once again. He. Was. Phenomenal. I am so proud of that man, can I just say! I finally got it together enough to offer a sweater to keep the girl warm and once the ambulance arrived, I was alert enough to turn the car around and wait around the corner while Michael finished up giving his statement and making sure the girl was off safely. Now a lot of people have heard my husbands side of the story, and he is about a billion times stronger than I ever thought I would be in a situation like this. Once I was around the corner and in park and baby fussing was complete, I LOST it. I mean utterly and completely was a blabbering, leaky, nasty mess. I kept seeing the girl over and over in my head. I played it on rerun in my mind. And as it played it just got worse and worse and more graphic and vivid. I'm already a paranoid freak from being a mom and from having Post Partem Anxiety--which is a topic best left for another post--so seeing a girl get hit by a car was just adding fuel to the fire. I called my mom (and I'm pretty sure I freaked her out because she had absolutely no idea what I was saying) and had her talk me through it and get it straight in my head.

When she got me to calm down and told me to call her back, Michael got to the car and we actually ended up going to my parents house so that Michael could clean up a bit before we headed home. Only I ended up having another breakdown and Michael asked my dad if he could give me a father's blessing. Now up to this point it has probably seemed like this is a downer of a post, and makes me seem a little crazy but I assure you I am not and that this post has a purpose, other than to depress. Though this was a horrible event that took place and I know it has effected me but its effects are not just for the worse.

First, it amazed me at how many people were willing to stop and take time from whatever they were doing to help this girl in her dire time of need. It put my faith back into human beings. It was a beautiful thing to see people working together in harmony and to see things get done with precision and care. People even stopped and went over just to offer prayers! It just blows my mind to think how many lives could be saved and how much life would just flow if we didn't always get so caught up in ourselves. I'm not saying being attentive to yourself is wrong because we definitely all need a little "me" time, but when we become lost in the service of others life just seems to mean more.

Another thing that I realized that night was how thankful I am blessed I am to have the worthy Priesthood Holders in my life. The fact that my husband felt my need and asked my father to give me a father's blessing just filled my heart with overwhelming love. And when they both stood there and gave me the blessing I felt My dad's, Michael's, Christ's, and Heavenly Father's love for me. I was able to calm down and feel the comfort of the Holy Ghost. Not only did I feel the love for myself but I felt the Lord's love for that girl and I knew that no matter what happened He would be there for her, in life or in death, He would be there for her. He knew what she was going through because He's felt it. Her pain, her sorrow, everything. He suffered for her and He knows her. She was not alone. And that was the greatest comfort.

I am so sorry for what happened to that young woman and in no way do I know what she will have to endure, but I do know that she will be made whole both spiritually and physically again one day. I just remember that the pains and hardships of this life are temporary, they do not last forever. This may seem ignorant to think when my hardships haven't been monumental but it is what helps me gets through the ones I do have and I believe it with all of my heart.

I have a testimony of the Lord's purpose for each of us on this earth and He knows what He is doing, He can't always save us from the consequences of our own choices but He will be there to help us get through them. I have a testimony of His mercy and of His eternal plan. I know Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of this world and that death is not the end of life. I have a testimony of the Priesthood and of it's power. I know the Lord knows each of us better than we know ourselves and He knows our hearts. And that is all that matters.