Becoming Mommy

This is mainly being posted for my friend Amanda Johnson because she asked on her blog what her friends wished they had known before they had their little ones, and that got me thinking to everything I wish I had known before Page got here, but not only that. It also got me thinking about all of the things I was so thankful I knew before going into the hospital and before Page came into my life. So I will write about what I wish I knew and what I was glad I knew.

What I Wish I Knew before baby:

1 .How to Sew...now I know that seems weird that it's my number one but it really is. I am so sad and so frustrated that I did not learn to sew or learn how to use a sewing machine before Page came. I didn't even think about it while I was pregnant! I have seen women who make their own diaper bags and blankets and it just seems to save them so much money and really who does not want to save money?! Learning to sew is my big want now.

2. That I wasn't going to be able to get into incredible shape right after birth... I really thought that as soon as Page came and when I was feeling up to it that I was going to be able to do a hardcore workout like Insanity and be able to get a six pack and be soccer worthy again in just two months, but...no, that really isn't the case. Since I have chosen to exclusively breastfeed I am not able to lose weight incredibly fast. Why you ask? Because it is actual dangerous for the baby. If I was to lose weight too fast, toxins can actually be released into the milk supply and it would affect my baby in a very bad way. I had no idea that was even a thing! You are actual supposed to take 10 months to a year to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight. Needless to say my self esteem took a blow and I was a downer for a bit but I am finding ways to get in shape and be healthy and slowly but surely I am feeling really good about my weight loss process!

3. On that note:I wish that I had been in good shape and had healthy habits before I got Pregnant...I think my pregnancy would have been less painful and I would have been more active if I was more active before pregnancy. I also think that I would not have got as swollen as I did nor would Page have come early if I had not giving in to my cravings and eaten the junk that I did.

4.For the guys out there: To Be Prepared to take on the duties that you're wife was responsible for before baby... Michael was telling me how he was ready to take care of the baby and change diapers and do duties like that but he really was not prepared for how much time was really going to be invested in the baby. He wasn't ready to take on household chores and run errands. I think he wasn't quite prepared for the emotional toll having a baby was going to have on me either. This is Michael's insight into what he wished he knew.

5. I wish I knew more about Postpartum depression...I wish I had known the symptoms and I wish I had considered it as a possible thing that could happen, and I wish I knew that there were different types of PPD. I actually have what's called Postpartum Anxiety. It includes depression but is more about paranoia and anxiety about things happening to your baby. It is actually not bad when I allow myself to nap and am well rested. And it is nowhere near as bad now as it was when I first had Page. But realize it is a very big possibility and DO NOT think you are a bad person or a bad mother because you have it. It is not your fault. It is a real thing, not a figment of imagination. Just turn to those you trust and love for help.

6. I wish I would have had a co-sleeper the first night I brought Page home from the hospital...I was a mess the first night I had to go to bed with Page. I was so so so paranoid about SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome) and I could not fathom leaving her alone in her crib. And when I tried sleeping with her on my chest she would roll and we woke up with a baby in weird places and one hysterical momma. About a week later my mom bought me a co-sleeper, a mini-crib, that could fit right on the bed with us. It was AMAZING!!! It was just big enough for her, it had mesh sides so even if she pressed her face against the side she would still be able to breathe, and it was right by my face so I could still hear her breathing and hear her when she was awake and ready to eat. It seriously helped me sleep 10 times easier and has helped me transition her to her own crib. It was a tight fit for Michael and I but we did not care because that thing was a life savor!

7. I wish my hospital bag had been in the car... I was so so sad that I did not have my prepared hospital bag the night I went in to give birth. That is a huge regret!!

Now..

What I am Thankful I knew going into Becoming a Mom:

1. I was so thankful for my Lamaze class!... I learned all the different techniques for doing a natural birth. I learned that an epidural was the way to go for me. I learned what to expect when in the hospital. I took a breastfeeding class. I learned that yes breastfeeding will hurt and leave you tender for a bit. It is after all something your nipples are not used to. I learned that some babies do not eat for 24 hours and that is OK (that one really helped me because Page was one of those babies that slept for the first 24 hours), I saw a birth and what happens to your body and how it all works and so much more. I LOVED IT!!!

2. One word: EPIDURAL!!!!... I know some women feel this is the cheap way out but I am not ashamed to say I got one! I admire all of the women in the world who delivered naturally, my mother especially. You are all strong and amaze me! I for one do not think I am weak for getting an epidural, in fact, for me it was a very smart decision. I think if I had not had one it would have ruined child birth for me. I loved that I was able to sleep and rest during my labor so when it was time to push I was ready and focused. I wasn't concerned with pain, or with tearing or being cut because I couldn't feel any of it! My sole focus was on pushing when the nurse told me to push and getting lil girl out!

3. so thankful my mom, grandma, and mom-in-law were all there to help me... If anyone offers to come stay with you for a couple of weeks DO NOT turn them down. You might think, well I have my husband to lean on and turn to if anything happens but really he is just as scared, tired and bombarded as you are. It is so so soooo wonderful to have loving, amazing women (or men) to come and take some of the craziness away and bring an element of comfort and calm. The first week, I loved that my mom was in our house at night in case we needed her. And I loved how much my grandma and mom-in-law were willing to help and cook and just make life seem like it was going to work. I loved that they stayed just long enough that I was starting to feel more secure in being a mom and got a little sturdier on my own two feet. I am eternally grateful to these women!

4. Thankful that I knew that sleep would be a rarity in the first few months...I probably would have been very bitter about this had I not known that seriously, sleep is not going to be a part of your life for a couple of months. I think that is why I wasn't so mad or resentful, because I knew and ACCEPTED that I would not be getting very much sleep once baby came.

5. I am thankful that I was so adamant about breastfeeding before I even got pregnant...I really think that I would have given up on day two of breastfeeding if I wasn't so gung hoe about it and if I hadn't known what I know about it. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying it is for everyone and I know there are women who cannot breastfeed, I am not trying to put anyone down, just for me I knew it was something I wanted to do and I was determined to do it and I am very glad I did. It is an awesome thing :)

I may think of more but here are just a few things that came to me as I was writing! I hope they help!!!!